Modern Courting Guidelines

 

 

I have two teenage daughters.  Many people have warned about how terrible these years would be, but my girls have brought me nothing but joy.  With most of the discipline out of the way, they are my best friends. 

Since they were little I have told them about courting, and we all decided it would be a better choice than dating.  I was honest with them about my own dating mistakes and how I wanted something better for them.  They have no real interest in boys yet except as friends, but we know that courting may very well begin in a few years, so we have talked a lot about what courting will look like for us.

Here are the Courting Guidelines we came up with....

Key Guideline- Pick a Christian who shares your values and values you as a person.

1.) Wait until you are of an age in which you would consider marriage. (We have chosen 18 as our minimum age.)

2.) Stay away from face-to-face situations in which you are completely alone or in an enclosed area.

3.) For private communication, use phone conversations, texts, emails, letters, or walks in  public areas.

4.) Spend time together on group dates and at each family's house.

5.) Be sure to share your views on marriage, religion, money, housework, and children.

These are not rules I will enforce with my girls, but guidelines they have chosen.  You might notice physical contact is not really addressed in these guidelines, but is discouraged in general by the lack of alone time.  My daughters really want to get to know the hearts of the men they court before they even think of that.

We look to Song of Songs 4:8 for our inspiration. "Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you: Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires."